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Offtopic: Funny Joke ;)


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#1 boygirls13

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Posted 21 October 2006 - 10:42 AM

timeoff, people! funny joke here smile.gif))

Girls vs boys.

Girls' English.

1.Yes. = No.
2.No. = Yes.
3.Maybe. = No.
4."It's your decision." = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
5."Do what u want." = You'll pay 4 this later.
6."We need to talk." = I need to bitch.
7.Sure. Go ahead. = I don't want you too.
8.I'm not upset. = Of course I'm upset, u stupid moron.
9.How much do u love me? = I did something today your not goin' like me 4.
10.Is my butt fat? = Tell me i'm beautiful.
11.You have to learn to communicate! = Just agree with me.
12.Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead.

Guy's English.

1.I'm hungry. = I'm hungry.
2.I'm sleepy. = I'm sleepy.
3.I'm tired. = I'm tired.
4.Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.
5.Can I take you to dinner? = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.
6.Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.
7.May I have this dance? = I'd eventaully like to have sex with you.
8.Nice dress. = Nice cleavage.
9.You look tensed, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you.
10.What's wrong? = What meaningless self inflicted pshychological trauma are you going through now?
11.What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
12.I'm bored. = Do you want to have sex?
13.I love you. = Let's have sex right now.
14.I love you too. = Okay i said it we'd better have sex now!
15.Let's talk. = I am tryin' to impress you by shown that I'm a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me!
16.Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegel 4 you to have sex with other guys.

you like it? wink.gif

#2 donmac

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Posted 21 October 2006 - 04:55 PM

Very good. How about this one.


GIRLS PROBLEM

Dear Technical Support:
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the Flower and Jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as: Football 5.0, Rugby 4.3 and Cricket 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs; it simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate


Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Try entering the command: C:/I-THOUGHT-YOU-LOVED-ME to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring Loudly. CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law. This is not a supported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In Summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,
Tech Support

BOYS PROBLEM

Dear Technical Support,
18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make mattersworse,
Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as Lads Night Out 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9. Successive versions of Girlfriend provedno better. I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks. Eventually, I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware. I eventually upgraded to FiancÚ 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse2005. Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in
Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Multi-Whinge. These latter products have no Help files, and I have
to try to guess what the problem is. Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly,
requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be
reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Saab 93 Convertible hard drive, it often crashes. Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which can't be turned off.

Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2005, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2005, it tends to delete all of your Money before uninstalling itself.
Help requested please.
Signed
Dazed and Confused

Dear Dazed and Confused
You need anti-spyware.
Tech. Support

smile.gif smile.gif smile.gif



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